Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Dilema

I love all the bands, or projects that i'm involved with... and that's a good thing because you don't make "Independent music" for money if you know what i mean. On the same idea i have never been keen on joining the ranks of the "starving artist" movement... really not my style. That's why i got up and went to work every day for the better part of my life starting with a paper route and eventually graduating to a Mail route with some detours in between. Now of course, or for the next 3.5 years i stay at home with my 3 children while my wife leads the charge to try to cure Cancer in a Lab.

Our life is busy, insane, rewarding, trying, joyous, impossible, special, fun, agonizing, hilarouis... you get the idea. I loath complaining unless it is put in a humourous self depricating way, in which case i encourage it, and i loath inaction and big talk.

It was exciting to get together to play some ROADBED... i remembered my parts, i love the songs, and it is a real treat to play your part in the song to make it one rather than playing the chord progression and singing the words and having people play along... which i have nothing against, for the record.. it's just nice to be a apart of something different and excellent (in my point of view).

For this show i was quite looking forward to it on some levels and for a while i was even excited about the supper show and questioning my desire to stop doing the Super Robertson Supper Show (which happens every Wednesday from 7:30-8:30PM @ the railway Club in Vancouver British Columbia). In fact i have had a number of people try to give me a hard time about this very idea "I don't know why you don't ask me to help you", "You can't stop doing it it's too valuable", "Anything you need any time"... is the usual kind of talk.

For this show there were big plans and lots of talk and multiple scheduled rehearsals... it was going to be the best of the best and Roadbed was a part of that.

On the day of the show as the last rehearsal was being canceled i mentioned to a few people that i would be running late because my wife was running an experiment. She had a "time trial" at 5:45 PM which means that at 5:45PM you look at your cells in and do an observation, assay, and then change the cellular medium. Now the show is set to start at 7:30 so i have to feed 3 kids (the 5 year old is no problem but the 2 year old twins are another story) have her food ready do some clean up and be ready to fly when i can... Keep in mind that i spent the day with three kids in science world and then raced to the printers to get a new batch of supper show posters because for some reason i was feeling good about the show and thinking of carrying on for good or ill...

Now i say this not to gain sympathy because i think I'm blessed... good family, get to play and all that... but in the sprint of the day i got the the Railway 5 minutes before showtime... just long enough to plug in my shit and go... i come up the stairs and see my neighbours sitting down having some food, the room is full... AND NO FUCKING DRUM KIT IS SET UP ON STAGE! OK let me get that... OK i'll get the beers now... OK i'll let everybody poke at me for being late... OK now I'll be engaged in a discussion on "should we do what we planned even though we found a way to get out of the planned rehearsals"... yes lets discuss that right now... perfect this is what i need right now.

By the time we started which was about 7:50PM my neighbours said good bye... you see they have a few children as well and they had a sitter and it being a few days before Christmas, sometimes these days are busy... they still had to go to a toy store, but they were downtown and had hoped to catch the first 20 minutes of this show i have been talking about for 5 years... "Oh yea we go 7:30 on the nose to 8:30 on the nose"

Well at least they got to seem me fly into the club like a maniac trying to take care of everybody, and get a show going against impossible odds. What a fucking joke.

For the record:

I fucking loathe starting late... it's the ultimate insult to everything. I realize some bands and scene sucking fuckheads often prolong their start time to "wait for a crowd to appear"... I don't buy that either... Ruth Minnikin has a song called "You can't choose your audience"... and you can't and in the end you wouldn't want to even if you could.

Who else was in that room watching that Clown show? I don't know and i never will... i do know that an opportunity to show something good became an opportunity to show something bad.

When the show finally got going, all was fine. SUPERSIMIAN started with 3 fine songs that my neighbours would have quite enjoyed... I'll take the blame... part of being the "leader" is to stand over everybody and make sure the do what they need to do to get the show on the Road... Bed time in the city of fallen heroes (that's a lyric i snuck in... first person to email me the song name gets a copy of the CD). I have songs on file but for some reason the "video" computer is down so we might have to wait a few days to see SUPERSIMIAN online... I dig the stuff Sim's got a great voice.

after SUPWERSIMIAN we had a visit from Santa... he did a few songs and on the second one he called me up to do some cursing... good old SR always trying to help out. Swearing my head off on stage is something i'm trying to get away from... i think i did a bad job... my focus wasn't there... too much childcare in this day and i was trying to get ready for the Roadbed show that was happening after that song, and i was also the guy that was solely responsible for the late start and everbody in the room seemed to know that... why do i do the SRSS?

Then Roadbed played... we cut Carolina as we were over time, everybody seemed to have a good time, except for me of course, but what else is new.



Remember the movie "Field of dreams"? If you build it the will come?

"Field of supper" if you build it they will appear with their thumb up their ass and say "whats going on"

You want to play the supper show? Get in touch with me... I'll give you what i can, the big thing being a stage in a good venue in a town where everybody is whining about "there is no place to play". For fuck sakes be ready to go for 7:30... if you can set up in a minute then come @ 7:29 for all i care... play your music, be brief and have fun. If you are doing sound be fucking ready... you are being fucking paid. Never fucking engage me in ideas that you are not fully and absoloutely committed to doing... if you want me to try something with you OK, maybe we bomb maybe not... we try. If this show gets lazy and starts late and goes late it becomes a pain in the ass to everything else that has to happen that night... NEVER PLAY MUSIC AND BE A PAIN IN THE ASS... that's as stupid as it is dumb. This show could be something, but it needs committed effort and accountability...

And if you are at the Supper Show and I'm not there and it's getting close to starting time, there is a very good chance i'm up to my neck in things that are far more important to me, and far more dependent on me than the SRSS... so get the fucking show on the road... if it's 7:30 somebody get the fuck up there and start doing something... it just occurred to me to leave a copy of "songs of the doomed" in the SRSS equipment stash for somebody to start reading at 7:30 PM if there is nobody in the house with the balls to go up and do something else but the reality would probably be that the book would disappear in a few weeks because some fucking peckerhead would think "what's this doing here".

Am i getting my point across here?

do we need a sports analogy?

FORECHECK! force the fucking issue... don't stand back an wait for me.

and tomorrow we have Tiger Prawn! and ROBERT MALOWANY and friend and Super R.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Cult

The Legion of Flying Monkies Horn Orchestra put on a fine clinic last week... Horn puppets and a few group sing along tunes... in all seriousness what else do you need?

The version of "flying Monkey Cult" was just spectacular, and when i mentioned that to Fire-Man after the show, he was kind of like.... "well it better be we all know it by now". I'm sure in some ways he would see the show as a failure... the kid of failure i might go on about... you have these great expectations and you will always land somewhere short of them. But that's life as an artist and He is an old pro who has come back off the canvass many times before.

It was Fire-Man's birthday but for some reason we celebrated my birthday and i was presented with my very own horn:



It shall be mounted on the wall above the fireplace with the 2 Dave Hind drums on either side for symmetry. It will be easy to remove for proper blasting when the time comes but right now is is under the severe threat of children hands.

The real story of the night has to do with the ride home on the Skytrain when i Ping Ponged into a train compartment with my new horn and there was a large enough and eager enough group of people in the right frame of mind anxious to find more information on the Nature of my horn. I smartly opened with "I can only blast this beast under the conditions of a group song at this time due to an arrangement i have with the Supreme Janitor".

Fate was on my side... or was it just the natural way in which a Cult operates. I had no time for that inner discussion it was time to teach this car the "Flying Monkey Cult song"

Help Help Help Help Help Help An Evil cult leader is using us... UUUUSING us. And then the beat started (some rhythm folks in the crowd) and then i had to teach the other part of the song

Flying monkey Cult
Flying monkey Cult
Flying monkey cult

12345678

By then i realized i had to move into the center of the car so that i could easily group into 3 regions... for the most part they wanted it and i noticed that what happened on the next couple of stops was the those that didn't want to be involved left the car and those that did stayed... by the time we hit my stop we were just about to get rolling so i figured i would have to go long and come back later.... after all it's not every day you get to rock a Fire-Man horn on a skytrain car with everything going fluidly. So we were in Burnaby at Royal Oak when i realized it was time to shut her down... that became clear at about Metrotown, but none the less we stomped down a fine version and there were good times and high fives and hugs all around. Fire-Man would have been proud... so i guess if a show can do that... carry on and reproduce spontaneously on public transit later that evening it has some merit.

It became clear to me that rocking a horn is all together a different beast than rocking a guitar or a bass... it's all about creating the environment... well that's true with guitar and bass but it's just a little less obvious so i guess i should say that instead.

Tomorrow we have our holiday treat ROADBED, SUPERSIMIAN and THE MANX.

OK

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

a fairly major disaster ha happened

OK so i went to find some of the old SRSS posters... the classic ones with a cartoon version of myself eating a hamburger and the other one with my head with a fork in it, which spurred a massive search for my backup disks which came up empty handed... hours of time which then sparked me to get out the old tower and try to use it as a target dive to grab the file... to make a long story short so that later in the blog i can make a short story long, my main computer is now down and out and i have this paranoia that i reset the bastard by holding the start button down for too long, which of course will have disastrous consequences if i have indeed deleted our family digital photos... good thing i burned MULE that disk of 21 tandem repeats live album that sits somewhere in my house.

So there will be no email for this show... that's right i had problems importing my contacts... what simple tasks using computers do i not have trouble with one could ask... it's just not my thing.

Should have emailed Sim and gone with a new poster, but no Old Robertson can solve the problem... as my dad would say "1 step forward 3 steps back".

Last week was a fun Supper Show with Camille and Jose in Santa suits singing songs... i hit a few numbers one of them being "after the birth" a crude song on the birth of Jesus, which I'll probably never play again and a version of "Nothing is heard".

After the show i ping ponged down to the Roxy to catch "The Manx" and once i cleared security i was able to enjoy the end of their set which rocked hard. We should all go to the Roxy as a pre Olympic warm up... you want to pay to go see some entertainment... well then lets eyeball you use a medal detector on your ass and then scan your drivers licence and question your legitimacy as a potential consuming customer. The real comedy came when i tried to pluck a ticket out of the bowl that was on the desk where you pay and the woman snatched the ticket out of my hand and then moved the bowl of tickets away and placed them out of reach. Often with these roxy deals you get a free beer with your admission fee if you have a ticket... i guess you have to actually have the ticket before you pass the first level of security and the bowl of tickets is just there to say fuck you you cheese eating surrender monkey. Marty ended up buying me a beer which he totally didn't have to, and he didn't even know my problems at the door... he's just a swell fellow. i still feel cheated the the Roxy cheated me out of a beer and tried to make me feel like a criminal in doing so. Oh the time they are a chaingin'.

Tomorrow night or on Wednesday December 16 we have "The LFM Shareholders Report and Puppet Show" which will be a Fire-Man special:




OK we are back in business... there will be an email The computer is back from the dead... thanks to Reeserv on some chat line... hold down Command Option p, r and let it chime a few times.

Jesus Christ it's a quarter to midnight and the whole blog is a lie now that my computer genius has come through in spades... Lets talk about Super Robertson's professionalism for a little bit shall we. The man brews an amber ale and had 3 computers on a table all for the purpose of enriching the Super Robertson Supper Show with some classic Simian Special poster designs. The man runs into a snag but still keeps a focus on the goals: 1) brew properly 2) operate computers 3) Update the blog because you said you would 4) occasionally go upstairs to hush children 5) start working on how to break it to CT that the family photos are gone.

A smart man would now immediately backup those photographs, but I'm on a roll and smart has never really been the kind of word people use to describe me. It could be that i generally hang out with really smart people... which happens to be true, so a person with a reasonable intelligence backed up with actual logic,fine street smarts, creativity and a healthy paranoia of most situations goes unnoticed on the charts of "smart".

Where the hell am I?

My computer works again ( i did the first half of this blogaroo on a laptop, and in the process had to reset my password)... which reminds me Mule send me an email and we can get it set back right again... ie what the hell was the old password? everything is automated which is not ideal for major crashes. Passwords and security codes... there must be some major evolution going on in the human brain these days to deal with this.

December 16 is Fire-Man's birthday and as he is planning to announce on Friday is Super R's birthday... for my birthday i give myself a horn show. Death come quickly! Now that my computer is back up i have received a late email that apparently i will have to bring down a guitar after all, so i guess I'm playing... I'm highly allergic to LFM rehearsals but I'm a master of winging it especially when being in key don't matter.

The Plot thickens.

OK for the record... there is a puppet show written and i thing there are grand thing planned, songs to do. The LFM has made great progress in moving from errant horn blasting to something greater. For my part I'll do what i can which i believe is play a song and announce a few things.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

which came first the Blog or the show?

The answer is obvious, or course, the show... back when it was on Monday night and it was called The Super Robertson King show, for some reason. In the end i think the blog might be bigger now however. I found that out after last weeks posting, or should i say Blogaroo. Of course i noted that i had come to the happy conclusion of ending my time running this SRSS just after Vancouver officially becomes a world class city which would also coincide with the 5 year SRSS anniversary... and within 12 hours i had messages from 4 continents and numerous local folks who believe for some reason that the Super Robertson Supper Show is important... there is actually a person in Europe who is saving up for a vacation and plans to come to Vancouver and The Railway for a Wednesday to complete the SRSS Blog experience... part of me wonders if it is actually a fake email sent by somebody in Vancouver... it would be like that time in high school when i got that note on my locker that some girl wanted to meet my runt ass outside the library by the main hall at lunch which of course provided fine comedy for some people seeing me stand there like a jackass for 20 minutes, luckily for me my tolerance for humiliation has always been unmatched... but in the metaphorical sense i guess in the end i ended up with the perfect woman so maybe we just have to take our hits and it will all work out in the end.

I seem to have lost my train of thought, and my train of thought is wandering from the the title of this here blog... the rules strictly stipulate that the blog should be a re-cap of last weeks show followed by a smiley faced PR for the upcoming show scattered with video footage. One of the problems is that i am currently on the other computer going over last weeks show, rendering things, half distracted... I am also a bit worried about the Germans... what will they think of this format. OK lets bark a file down:

OK I'm rendering a version of Bay City Kitty now... By the way it was a most excellent show last week... i went down alone thinking "why bother"... but then i was pumping myself up "It will be good old Robertson... you can do those songs the way you know them rather than the way they become once a team of musicians who have no idea how the song goes start to play it without any proper cues or notes"... where is the fun in that though! Anyhoo when i walked into the bar i saw some Supper Show stalwarts huddled at a few tables and one table had Fire-Man and Marty... and i thought perhaps Sim was here, which he was! D Trevlon confirmed this fact, so all of the sudden the show had legs again all i had to do was find Sim which was kind of hard... i looked all around... the show was about to start... I'll try the washroom. It turns out the Simian Special was just in the washroom re-in acting a battle from the Boer war. The bottom line was he was ready to rock and rock he did:



Now i have a version of Jupiter rendering. Note to self this is not the way to write... you need the files ready to go so you can focus on getting to your points, or in my case find your deviations and then just copy and paste the links.



I should note that last week was the first Wednesday of the month which is usually the Cammile and Jose Supper Show but Cammile got another gig that had some importance so we switched nights, which of course means that those guys do tomorrow night (December 9 2009) but fortune was on my side because a guy named Ian came to play at the Camille and Jose show but ended up playing at the Super Robertson Supper Show. I like their "supper shows" they are both excellent they work together and they have this vast network of amazing songwriters that come out to play a tune. the show is strong the momentum keeps going and when its over you don feel full you just feel fine. I tend to have lost that balance, having started playing with a full band every week perhaps the setup was different but it seems like when i put together a show i am always fighting the guest to cut down their set as they always want to play "a full set" to make it worth their while in coming out. It's really a reflection on me for the most part, i mean sometimes it's good, but after a while it becomes a pain in the ass to fight for stage time with your guests... and it's not really stage time i want i just want the show to keep flowing:

Check out Ian:



my point being this guy comes out to play a tune to add to a show (which it clearly does in spades) and for some reason i give the idea to people that they need to do the whole show... i mean i guess i get "bands" from time to time which is a bit of a different story, and some of my ideas to integrate people into the show have had disastrous consequences, so once again i lay the blame on myself.

But this show went well for a show that started when i walked into the room saw D Trevlon who asked who's playing and then immediately had to retreat when he heard that he was on the "penciled in" bill... being the sound man for the super Robertson supper show can come in handy from time to time... we had another guest named Jason Harder who was fantastic as well but it's like fucking midnight here and i can render no longer... my sense of failure is dogging me again... i have big plans but lack the time and energy and resources to have them fly... could be the plans suck too... just saying.

after the show I squirreled away in the back room, with a few of Vancouver's prominent PR Kingpins... mostly it was a chickenshit move on my part because i was afraid to sit at a table with some hyper pro super show people and defend my position to essentially quit. Word from the PR camp is that having a video is very important these days... like a good well shot smart video... OK

for the record I'm really not happy with this blog post... i find it unnecessarily negative and totally lacking in good comedy. The real comedy now is that i have begun to apologize for the blog posts as well as the show which is free... Totally Canadian Eh!

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Movember 25th re-cap

It was just like good old times... 21 Tandem Repeats with a full compliment: Shawn Killaly, JLS and WB. Land of Deborah was in the house, and the said musicians have played on her latest EP titled "You are here" so we stomped a version of Blue Skies and then i handed LOD the axe and they smashed home a few numbers... which essentially in some parts was what the SRSS was to be all about when i started it about 5 years ago. It wasn't until after the show that i got bogged down in a few bad ideas that cost me a hangover and a stick bag that i started thinking about the SRSS. I mention this because i believe, after careful consideration, that it would be in my best interest to kill the Super Robertson Supper Show. I'm thinking i should go to March have a big 5 year anniversary/ "the last SR Supper" show... I still have a goal with the show, and that is to get a story about the show in the Georgia Straight... why? I don't know, I'm weird that way... i thought it might be possible, and it should be with the right amount of hounding... or at least the properly directed hounding. It's kind of like the same logic as stopping on the 5 year mark... the other option would be to go for the full decade, but i think i made my point in 5 years. It's not a sad thing, or as i would usually frame things a "definite failure", but rather quite the contrary... for half a decade I somehow led a crew of good natured and generous artist to put on an early reliable and free show that i know entertained many people... it provided a stage for artists to bring their stuff and try something. Sure we had some all time lows as i led the team of a cliff and into a cauldron... but we had some highs as well... there were some King Hell Moments for sure. I guess i shouldn't talk in past tense yet because there are many a shows left and it would be better to nail them, or at least go right off the rails at the railway club. It's nothing negative or bad, i just thought that if i used 6:45-11PM ever Wednesday to do something else in a non performing but yet creative endeavour i might be better off.

man I'm really starting to run the yap on these blogs... the whole world is getting shorter and more brief (texting twitter) and i'm here re explaining unimportant thought lines.

When i was about 23 and i lived in a "warehouse" in Kitsilano i had on my fridge a schedule of my week broken down into 1/2 hour segments.. there was work, jamming, exercise, and then a couple types of artistic thought... there was even 1/2 hour of cartoon drawing scheduled for Tuesday night 8:30-9PM... the idea of course was to exercise all of the "creative muscles". Of course as a disorganized sloth of a man i fell off course from time to time. One day i had a party, and people were smoking grass, and somebody saw the schedule and drew attention to it... the were having a real hoot, and of course i failed to see the humor and tried to explaining the logic behind everything, which of course caused the laughter to become uncontrollable. i happened to have a brick in the kitchen, and i thought about grabbing it and smashing some faces to bring peoples attention to reality, but then i relaxed and got in on the joke and i started telling some of my ideas that didn't make the first schedule but would definitely be present in the second schedule once i felt a certain mastery of the first schedule. I was a regular Charlie chuckles that night as people were hitting the floor and we had a lot of good laughs. The next day i kept the schedule... i was going to tear it down, but then i saw it as a representation of somebody that wanted to be doing things for a purpose. Never underestimate dedication, life is long, but it's the accumulation of your short game that gets you places, and generally the places aren't recognized by the standard values of success but rather the peace of mind in knowing you did what you thought you had to do.





I guess the big news last week was that Peter lolley won "SRSS Best Moustache Movember 2009"



that would be here:



What is this Lynx Paw Beard Shampoo?